ParalysedPoliceOfficer-Road2Recovery

I am British Indian Catholic mother who became a Police Officer at 18 years of age following my dreams.Having spent 10 years in the job after recieving 6 bravery commendations and exemplary character of service medal. But  I soon lost my  financial security when I was told I couldn't be a Police Officer anymore after I was brutally assaulted and in car crash on duty. What's worse I am also diagnosed with life threatening  heart condition where my heart can stop from Autonomic Dysreflexia and  severe stages of EDS affecting my heart. I am 35 years old and my daughter is 11years. Without the funds My mortality of 48 years of age will be realistic because of the equipment needed to aid better quality of life. Doctors have told there is no cure. The funding will help with New wheelchairs still needed but can't afford and further treatments to help my conditions to prolong my life. Why I need the public's help and why I've come forward? In 2009 i was  brutally injured on police duty as Police Officer that changed the rest of my life and my daughter was 3 years old at this time.  You seeI didn't know how hard it was going to be to protect my community and serve because I was a victim of repeat assaults and the offenders just got away with it. The criminal courts wouldn't take Police Officers injuries seriously because we weren't accepted in the eyes of the courts as VICTIMS. And offenders werent sentenced. It is important for me to keep raisinng awareness for the campaign #ProtecttheProtectors so courts push for Sentances.  In March 2009 led a spiral of injuries. when I was beaten unconscious with broken bones i still refused to give up my job as Police Officer. I was single crewed arrested a male for  stabbing a victim in the neck with a machete. The offender had  headbutted me then kicked me out of a public order van throwing me out of the van where I went flying out and landed on the road onto moving traffic. The offender then went in full rage while I was on the wet road surfaces who carrided on kicking stamping me . I knew then this offender was going to kill me he was not going to stop, his eyes was just fixeated on my little body who he saw as vulnerable officer left on her own in the van with him. I was momentarily knocked out unaware of my injuries.  (I had lost count the amount of times my head was beaten and knocked unconsious over the years in police duty from being headbutted,kicked, thrown bricks,being violently shaken, thrown heavy objects on my head and body in public order offences from breaking up gang violence and threats of being raped.) Fortunately there were dozens of officers ran at the scene because of the  violent nature of the incident that occurred earlier on the victim. It took 6 strong male officers and more to restrain the offender and where I was free from the him . As my adrenaline kicked in unaware of my injuries and bleeding I helped restrain the offender  because I knew automatically I still had to do my job and protect the public around me from the offender.  Worried about my case files and the victims  i was already doing my best to help their cases get the results they deserved and offenders put away because i knew being officer in hospital recovering meant none of my cases would be taken over. I would even contact the victims apologising why there cases up dates weren't being dealt with because there weren't enough officers able to manage my cases wirmth police budget cuts and government changes. Officers were overwhelmed and exhausted. I started suffering from depression and had to take anti depressants .   I felt awful because i knew i was letting all my cases down  being off from the injuries. So i made sure i pushed past my pain to get better for my daughter also who was missing her mum and to get back to  helping the victims be heard in court which often got me in trouble by supervisors because i just couldnt keep going in to work seeing people suffering in silence. So I stayed quiet mentally. I underwent intensive rehabilition  which was emotionally and physically painful to recover in half the time than medically stated. Going back to duty when the West Midlands  Police Doctors  were eager to want me to return back to police duties  as staffing levels were low. They signed me off early to go back to operational duties while i was on anti antidepressants.  I returned back to work in half the time than reccommended. But  the worst possible warning  sign happened  in Sept 2009-car crash that ruin my life. I went to work reassuring my 3 year old daughter she would see her supermum and pick her up from nursery. But I couldn't even pick my 3 yr old up my whole life changed . I was travelling in my car on police duty on a ( residential 30mph )road when a speeding car failed to stop at stop junction which was clearly marked and signposted and the male offending driver drove straight into me  at speed. This  Car Crash where the offending  speeding car took my freedom to live the life I wanted away was my worst nightmare come true. My independancy power was snatched away. He took everything away from. He took my police career away. At that time he ruined my life to the point the next 2 years 2009-2011 I went into spiralli g depression, PTSD and heavily drinking not able to live past knowing there was no life for me if I couldn't be a Police officer anymore.What's worse as my spinal cord injury was in 2009 past the statue of limitations the offender can't be sentenced now that the courts have put in motion for offenders to now be sentenced for crimes against police officers. I also missed my daughter first days in her primary school.  The Police force was my safety net family I gained after escaping my childhood family where I was a VICTIM for many years. I believed I was a failure to my daughter and my daughter deserved a better mum. I was ready to give it all up because I did get to the point where I wasn't coping and freely admit talking about my 5 stages of grief . My scary part of my life literally ending from a career that rescued me and turned me into a fighter for the victims in the community to help where I couldn't help myself from years of abuse but I know I had the chance to help others. This  was torture.I wasn't paralysed straightaway. I spent 2 years reliving the ordeal suffering and feeling my body crumble away literally.. In the crash  I remember the slow motion and feeling the car bonnet caved into me.i knew then something had happen to my back but I could feel my legs. Ambulanced and given morphine . The nhs failed to do any x-ray failed to treat the area that was broken.The brain and spinal injuries unit apologized for their teams mistakes and delay and blamed it on different teams miscommunication and lost paper work . I was stereotypeds of being a strong police officer and reassured the broken bits were repairable and stated because I was stabilised with the medication and able to walk albeit in pain and limp, dislocation of hip shoulder and pelvic was popped back  I was told to go back into the rehabilition team I was under from the assault for the Injuries this time sustained from the crash to start intensive treatments to recover. I was  diagnosed with delayed paralysed T4-Spinal cord injury complete from Chest down. I also suffered degenerative bone&Joint disease which progressed rapidly affecting my upper body function and had brain damage. What is worse is the car crash is what led to 2 years of hell in my deteriating body because I was not paraslysed straight away at the crash site. I could still feel my legs. The nhs failed to scan my spine on the crash day when I was hospitalised. Instead they sent me to same  treatments because I was still under the rehabilition recovery team for my previous assault injuries. During these 2 years my body was failing slowly in horrendous pain where I could feel my bones crippling and crashing... My back was torture. It felt like I as reliving my assault and crash over and over again because I could feel every part of my body. Little did I know by Dec 2011 Chritmas with my daughter was in hospital this time I was given the  scan and x rays.;I was permanently paralysed! I then spent the year 2012 in hospital this was when my daughter started primary school . I could see my body failing right before my eyes from walking independently reducing to limping,  using walking stockings,then walking frames,then still fighting the paralysis and my joint and bone disease from spreading further I was then forced to be bedbound paralysis. I remember when I lost all feeling of my lower half of my body and stabbing my legs with needles and knives to wake then up.  I remember another time falling down my stairs because I stopped feeling my legs. I had no choice but to start using wheelchair. Hospitalised and at that time i  was treated like a prisoner where I was once ordered if I attempted to leave the intensive unit I would be arrested for my safety because my health was deemed catastrophic and life threatening . I was a danger to myself and had to monitored fulltime by a dedicated team who stayed physically with me because I could've died at any time with tests revealing: 'brain damage ' 'spinal cord Injury t4'  'degenerative Scillocis ' 'EDS progressed tachycardia and Autonomic Dysreflexia.  I spent 10 years in Police achieving my dreams with no regrets. Why? because from childhood i was told I  wouldn't be able to have a free life, not be officer, not read or have education. I proved tirelessy believing in myself even when others didn't.  It was really hard being told i couldn't be a officer anymore and I had to accept the person who did this to me was free to live and get on with his life.  I mentally broken down into of the physical body breaking to pieces.  My thought to end my life again became a possibility  entered my mind because I remembered having a flash back from my childhood memory because for that single moment I thought my only daughter would be better of without her failing broken mother because of  what was stereotypedof me at that being told in front of my daughter's sight and hearing from when she was 3yrs of age..  other people's comments   ' I couldn't be a mother   in wherlchair when I had a normal life ' ' poor you your in prison sentence ' ' is rather die than have your handicap ' ' I'll pray for your sins for mirical' 'you can't live like this it's worst nightmare ' Fortunately my immediate family and true friends had created a strong support system and barrier circle around me so others peoples comments weren't believedto  prevent me from harming myself.  I quickly got out of my depression accepted help and psychotherapy,cognitive behaviour therapy to accept my wheelchair life and tackle and face my all my police injuries  that haunt me and face my carcrash . I may have done all the physical therapy my biggest challenge was my mental illness. I no longer hate myself and lovemyself to be  a proud mum and be with my daughter more and more. I do not regret being a officer. I joined the police to help and  not to go to work to be abused for so many years .it was mentally suicidal but I never wanted to give up because I always though about the people I was protecting and serving.  It was not about me. I remember clearly I spent 2 years fighting for my life in hospitals nearly died but now  I got the courage to keep raising disabilities awareness,fighting wheelchair accessibility by modelling,volunteer,being  a public speaker, pilice campaigner and  mentoring in my church following her catholic faith and showing my daughter that  i never gave up on following my dreams and working hard for them to come true. My Daughter is my inspiration and strength.My daughters own health battles of gentic joints disease is invisible disability yet my daughter always puts me 1st giving up her dreams and birthday wishes saving her birthday money's to  help  me. Both myself and my daughter put our drive and passion into everything we do aswell as raising monies previously donated to different charities for my daughter's and mine . Whats worse than being  beaten unconsious and in crash ,paralysed unable to be police officer again is  when I  found out i have a life threatening condition that affects my heart & stops when standing for long periods of time with a mirical technology that was donated to me in recognition to my Police Service by Philanthropist Gerald Ronson who enabled me to  attempt to walk again with the suit on.  Just when i thought my daughter's wish came true on her 10th birthday (waiting since  was 5 years old)for me to walk again the heartbreaking news mentally  broke me as I  was  then told all over again i will never be able to walk again using exoskeleton because of the contraindications health diagnosis-my heart can stop! More bad news;Insurance claim of£115k was taken off me because I was working to raise awareness for the  rewalk robotoc technology-using the robotic legs voids&affects the life changing injury claim even though im still paralyzed and robotic legs are not a replacement to my wheelchair.  I could no longer use the robotic suit due to my heart stopping.My brave decision to no longer use legs was not by choice but heartbreaking to accept my life nearly ended cos my robotic legs. I have lost my financial security of £115,000 but  i was able to donate my exoskelton legs to help change the life of other paralysed person who would not be able to afford the device and helped changed their families. To me my daughter reminds me that we did our best at following gods work by giving the legs to someone who needed them . That is why I decided to go public and share my police story to help everyone see what police officers go through everyday when they go to work to protect the public. I campaign for #ProtecttheProtectors on all my social media sites and roles aswell in schools talking about DisAbility Inclusion and how to respect and learn from #ProtecttheProtectors campaign in the hope that no police becomes paralysed like me . I have accepted I will never get the justice for mine but I know I can do my part to help get justice for other police officers by ensuring the campaign is working. I am now  turning another chapter of my story by completing my book to educate and inspire. A true adversity battle of survival since being a victim at 9 years of age. I  need YOUR support to raise the funds i rightfully was entitled to help my quality of life , complete my book (with a story that  truly tells my life's testing limits to survival) , buy new wheelchair, finish adaptions medical aids , better accessible lifestyle without struggles to live out my life with her daughter before my 50th as I need  the financial security  towards treatments to have a better chance to live past 50 so I can watch my daughter grow with me.(  As a motivational speaker I make no profit and donations of money are given directly to the charities on booking.) I now need your help to support my road to recovery to live out the rest of life with the finacial security from  each and everyone one you in a country I served . As many know you join the police force not for the money but to make a difference by putting others first. . Everyone needs support and help every now and again  no matter how little..... it will makes a difference. Read more about me and my progress on all my social media sites and my new 2018 you tube site where I will share my real life .