Single Grieving Mother in Need

A SINGLE GRIEVING MOTHER IN NEED

      This case was brought to my attention by one of the counselors in my private practice and I knew we had to do what we could to help her – I think you will agree when you hear her story.

      When Sharon’s beloved daughter Claire was born, she spent the first 20 months of her life in the hospital and when Claire was finally able to go home, she needed lots of extra care: She suffered from severe chronic lung disease; had a tracheotomy tube, was on a ventilator and had a G-tube (feeding tube) and had sundry medications and therapies.  Claire was 8-years old before she got medical clearance to begin school at a school for children with special needs to accommodate for her multiple medical needs and disabilities.

     It is not uncommon for parents of children with special needs (and those children) to feel isolated because some people find it uncomfortable to be around and don’t know what to say or do, so they stay away.  This was the case with Sharon and Claire.  Sharon often said to Claire “It's You and Me Against the World," because that was their reality.

      Claire’s mom was her primary caregiver.  And, while she did have some help from caring nurses along the way, there were also some others that were not-so caring.  Ultimately Sharon lost her job as a bookkeeper in 2006 due to the unreliable nursing care which necessitated her to frequently miss work to tend to Claire.  From then on, Sharon devoted all of her time to Claire’s 24/7 care.  She always rose to every challenge and fiercely fought for Claire.  She valiantly fought for and saved their home from foreclosure, was able to refinance and reduce her mortgage payment to something she could afford on Claire’s Social Security Disability and the mileage reimbursement Sharon received for providing transportation for Claire to attend school; which were their only sources of income.  Sharon was Claire’s staunchest advocate; every time Claire had a doctor’s appointment, another procedure, or another trip to the hospital, Sharon was right there by Claire’s side making sure she was ok.  Numerous times, Sharon was literally fighting for Claire’s life, challenging the “professionals” to do their best for her daughter. 

(Claire is wearing the Wonder Woman costume and Sharon has done the work of Wonder Woman.)
 
      Claire’s smile was the fuel that kept Sharon going to create a life for them that was filled with joy.  They went everywhere together, did everything together.  Claire was a beacon of love in a world that is often cruel and unsafe.

      They found out how cruel and unsafe this world can be.  Claire went to the hospital after a procedure the prior day had gone horribly wrong.  This time, Sharon couldn’t save her beloved daughter; Claire died that day, 4 months shy of her 18th birthday, in the same hospital where she was born.  Sharon’s world was shattered.

      Now, utterly bereft, she is without her daughter – her purpose, her reason for living.  At this time, incapacitated by her grief, she is unable to work and is without income.  She does receive SNAP benefits and Energy Assistance and she is grateful for that help, however, there still seems to be more month than money.  Historically, she ends up needing 1-2 more oil fills than what Energy Assistance provides, and SNAP does not cover personal care items (toilet paper, deodorant, feminine products, laundry detergent, shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothpaste, etc.)  Sharon has applied for SSDI and was denied because of the 30 work credits needed, 20 of those credits must be in the past 10 years – which is when she lost her job to take care of her daughter.  She has since applied for SSI, has been denied, and is now appealing that decision.  In the meantime, she has nearly exhausted her savings in order to live and is dangerously close to losing her home – the home she fought so hard to keep, the one she shared for 17+ years with her daughter Claire.  There is only about $50,000 left on her mortgage and her monthly mortgage payment (including taxes and insurance) is less than what it would cost her to rent an apartment.

      Sharon is a woman whose giving nature makes it difficult for her to ask for help since helping people is what she has always done.  Now it is time for her to receive the love and support she has so generously provided others.  Won’t you please help this valiant and despaired mother; help to ease her financial burden so that she can attend to her grieving heart and start the healing process and provide her hope that life can get better. 

      Accustomed to living on a shoestring budget, Sharon’s needs are not exorbitant.  And, there are things that need to be taken care of in her home:

1.     Both kitchen and bathroom sinks are leaking and in need of repair/replacement.

2.     Furnace/boiler and chimney need to be cleaned to prevent CO poisoning (from which Claire and Sharon suffered early in 2018).

3.     Her washer/dryer need repair/replacement.
 
Here are her typical basic and immediate expenses:

Monthly Mortgage (including taxes & insurance)            894.32
Monthly Electric                                                                                     85.00
Monthly Oil (heat & hot water)                                                   250.00
Monthly Phone                                                                                        65.00
Monthly Water
(will be lower if leaks are repaired.)                                             45.00
Car (Fuel, insurance)                                                                          200.00
Monthly Groceries/Personal Care Items
(not covered by SNAP)                                                                        65.00
Average monthly total                                                                   1604.32
 

Ideally, at least 6-months-worth of expenses covered would provide Sharon a little breathing room so that she can grieve the loss of her daughter absent the additional stress of trying to figure out how she will survive.  That would be an amazing gift. 

Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated!