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Help Dig Lily Out of a Big, Deep Hole

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If you're reading this, you probably know me already, at least a little.  You will have met me through my work over the years, mostly centred around voluntary and community projects in the areas of food production, community health, education and the arts. I might have taught you to grow your own food, or set up a community-owned food business.  I might have helped you to set up an arts event that brought much-needed visitors and income into your area.  I might have helped you to set up a First Responder group, and trained you in life-saving techniques.
You'll know me as strong, pro-active and hard-working, but what you might not know is that I've done all of that from a place of poverty and very difficult personal circumstances.  Despite my best efforts, the situation hasn't improved and now I'm facing new challenges that mean I could wind up losing my home, transport and therefore even my livelihood. I'm in a deep, dark hole, which is why I need your help.  Let me explain...

I grew up in a household way below the poverty line, and I've never had any access to financial help from my family.  I have no family now, except of course for my wonderful children. So, I started out with nothing, no backup.
A survivor of domestic violence, I've raised my five children alone. It was a challenge, but as they grew older I was gradually able to get back to work, upskill and create extra ways to make a living.  Slowly but surely, things were looking up! 

Then came the recession of 2008.  We'd just moved house to be closer to a new job managing a new venture in West Cork.  That venture never opened, my job never started, and there was no work to be found anywhere else.  My landlord would not accept rent allowance (that was still legal then) and so began a struggle to keep a roof over my family's head that has persisted for 12 years.

During that time, we have relocated more than once in order for me to find work, and the work has been scarce.  As the recession continued, on and on, the rules for benefits and housing supports kept changing, often forcing us to move home yet again.  At the height of this period, we were made homeless four times in just two years.  And, of course, our financial situation became bleaker and bleaker.  I could no longer afford to run a vehicle, which made it even harder to access jobs.... not that there were any to be had in the area where we were living.  I lost a son and couldn't afford to pay for his funeral.  I gained a grandson, and couldn't afford to help my daughter in her hour of need.

Not to be defeated, I worked hard to create incomes from home (and that's probably where you know me from).  Unfortunately, although my skills were in demand, the short term projects I worked on only paid the lowest possible rates or, in most cases, nothing at all.  I was creating opportunities and incomes for the communities I worked with, but earning nothing myself.  Bills could not be paid and we sank deeper and deeper into debt.  In 2016, at rock bottom, my youngest son and I decided to relocate yet again to where the jobs were.  So we arrived in Wicklow.

By that stage, I was over 50 with four years of unemployment behind me.  Not every recruiters dream candidate!  I did find work though, and have been steadily employed in both community healthcare and food production.  Unfortunately, although those jobs provide essential services to so many, they are all paid at minimum wage or slightly above.  (I want to acknowledge here that there are many, many people in this position, and it sucks just as much for all of them).
My teenage son and I share a one-room cabin, which has been.....interesting.  But the rent is low, and it's all we can afford on what I earn.  Even then, to make ends meet I've often had to work seven days a week and disasters like vehicle breakdowns have very nearly been the finish of us.  I've tried to put savings aside, but there's simply not enough.  Still, somehow we kept it together and my son has completed his school career.  After all these years of struggle, we could see the light at the end of the tunnel!  He would be moving on to work and/or college, I could move into my teeny camper van, with no rent the financial pressure would be off!  I could support my boy as he established himself in the world, and get back to the community projects that are my passion.  Job done, huzzah!

Then came Covid-19.

In some respects, I am luckier than many.  I have two part-time jobs, both of which are classed as frontline services, so I haven't lost my income, however small.  But, disruptions to the final term of school, the Leaving Cert. exams, and the opening of third-level institutions in the autumn have left my son in limbo.  He is diligently looking for work, but for the moment all of those places that would usually provide summer jobs for school leavers are closed.  There is desperate competition for the few jobs available, and as yet he's only picked up a few hours here and there.  Meanwhile, because he turned 18, Child Allowance payments have ceased....which is what I used to use to keep my vehicle legal...and my rate of tax has risen.  I'm currently working between 45 and 50 hours a week, and with a small boost from the Working Families Payment our total combined household income is between E420 and E450 a week.  For the two of us, for everything.  It's just about enough to cover our day to day needs, but there's not a cent left to cover emergencies or to fund the future.  Keeping ahead with the rent is tough, and the fear of being made homeless again is always there in the back of my mind.  There's nothing there to cover the cost of finding accommodation for my son.  If he gets a college place, I can't afford to send him.  And I can't afford to repair my van....it's running, but there is a lot of work to be done to get it through the CVRT (roadworthiness test), which is due as soon as the test centres can re-open.  With no test, I can't drive (I've been threatened with having my vehicle impounded more than once.  I won't get away with it again).  With no transport, I'll lose both of my jobs, and that will be the end of me.  My mental health is in tatters, and I can't see a way out.

I can't borrow money, because I can't afford to repay it. (In all of this I have, at least, been able to provide a good laugh for my bank manager).  I can't make promises to friends that I can't keep.  

So here we are.

I don't like to ask for something for nothing, but the time has come.  If the work I've done over the years has been of any value to you, I'd ask you to give a little help now, if you can afford to.  It doesn't have to be much, and if you can't afford to help then I, of all people, understand!

What will I do with the money raised?

Firstly, and most importantly, I can pay the deposit and advance rent on accommodation for my son.  Then he can access work and further education, and I can remove the burden of rent from my own life for a while.

Secondly, I can get my van fixed and legal so that I can continue to work.

And finally, if there's any money left over after that, I'll invest it in equipment that will allow me to create an additional income from home and help to ensure that I never get into this situation again. That will be centred around writing, broadcasting and eventually, when we can all gather again, events.... just as I intended to do before things fell apart. 
I'll be doing all that over on Patreon....Watch this space.....


Thank you so, so much for your help, if you can give it.  And thank you so much too for hearing me, with all my heart.

Lily xx
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  • Anonymous
    • €50 
    • 3 yrs
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Lily de Sylva
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