6 Children without a father after suicide

Paul was a beautiful, loving and big
hearted soul. Loving fiancé and loving
father to 6 gorgeous kids. 4 beautiful
girls aged 12,10,7 and 3 years old and 2
beautiful boys aged 5 years old and 9
years old.

On the 4th October My 6 children and I
lost our beloved Paul to suicide. No one
realised that behind Paul’s big smile was so much pain, and it is this haunting
thought that will forever remain a
question for us all, why did we not see
how sad Paul was. Paul had dedicated his life to our beautiful children. They were
his life, his everything, which is why none of this makes sense. He was hard
working, caring, and always had a smile
that was so gentle; he touched the lives
of many and to lose him in such a way is
an absolute shock and tragedy that will
haunt us all forever.

Not only were our lives ripped apart that day but l have been left with so many
uncertainties that I never thought I
would have to face. We can’t stay at the
house we were renting because it’s to
traumatic and isn’t home anymore. Due
to this all we have been staying with my
sister in a small 3 bedroom unit and
there is 12 people living here. l have been to every place possible to try and get
emergency accommodation but no one
can help me but due to the size of the
family.  l have been looking for rentals
but there isn’t much in the price range
that l can afford now and because we are in the middle of a pandemic it’s
impossible to find housing.  Paul was the main income support and I was a stay at home mum and studying so now I am
faced with Financial troubles that I never thought would happen. Due to our rent
being so high and now being a single
mum to 6 kids I haven’t been able to pay all the rent on the house that we shared as a family and pay all the other bills we
have I am now drowning in Financial
debt. We still need to pay for a head
stone, car registration and living
expenses on one income. I spent all our
savings towards the funeral and what
was left on the head stone, storage unit
and head stone. Christmas is just around the corner and at this point I can’t even
see anyway possibly way how I can give my kids anything. I always hold myself
high, that I can figure it out and never ask for help but this by far is the hardest
experience of mine and the children’s life but also financial scary knowing I have to provide for 6 children by myself.  I don’t
have a place for them to live that they
can call home, to setup the presents
brought with Paul before his passing. The kids are going to need ongoing childhood trauma counselling as well as myself as
this is more than I can handle and I am
doing the best I can considering the
circumstances.

I would so appreciate if you could share
this page with the hope that Our story is met with compassion, understanding and abundant generosity.  We would also like to draw light to the issue of suicide and
mental health with the hope that this
page reaches someone who may be
feeling like there is no hope.  We would
like to let you know that Suicide is a
permanent solution to an often
temporary problem and your life has so much value and purpose.   We encourage you to speak to someone who can help you navigate you through your journey. 
There is hope…. We promise that this
hiccup is only temporary.