Help Lani, queer Black femme, recover from abuse
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Lani, a Black queer femme and survivor of domestic/sexual violence, is one of the sweetest people I know. She always goes out of her way to show gentleness and care to everyone around her, and she’s always been a brilliant, determined person. However, in recent years, her life was shattered by an abusive relationship that devastated every single aspect of her life, including her sense of self, her support systems, her career and economic stability, and her physical and mental health. Please help Lani find stable housing and recover from racialized domestic violence.
The extreme and prolonged abuse she suffered spanned severely across different facets of domestic violence. It was racialized, as her abuser forced her into frequent intimate contact with white supremacists. It was sexual, as she experienced force and the manipulation of her queer identity to sexually coerce against her protests. It was physical, culminating in a firearm being kept in her bedroom with her abuser. And it was financial, as well: Lani, who worked tirelessly for a decade on an advanced degree and in pursuing her career, was violated and manipulated until she was forced to leave her career for her own supposed good. During this time, her abuser took full control of all of her financial accounts, citing her mental health and frequent emergency room trips (which he caused) as justification for why she shouldn’t be allowed to be responsible for them. With this control he committed fraud, drained her finances and ran her into severe debt with financial and medical institutions. On top of this, she is also suffering from PTSD, suicidality, chronic back pain and nerve damage in her arms—with no means to get the treatment she needs. And this is only the tip of the iceberg.
In the US, 3 women a day are killed by their abusive partners. According to a 2016 report by the Violence Policy Center, Black women are more than 3 times likely to be murdered by their partners than white women. Every day I am thankful that Lani survived, but surviving the immediate violence was only half the battle. The support she receives (or doesn’t receive) after abuse will also have long-lasting consequences, and I ask for your help in making sure that she has the best chances possible in reclaiming her life.
Sometimes people think survivors of domestic and sexual abuse just need some time and emotional support to heal. But what are time and emotional support without material resources? When bills need to be paid, when the impacts of injuries worsen over time, when trauma and terror inhibit your ability to function, when you can’t afford to get the mental or physical help you need, and sometimes can’t even afford to get basic needs met? The invisible costs that survivors absorb (financial, emotional, physical), usually silently and alone, are unimaginable and hard to quantify—though according to the CDC, one sexual assault costs each victim upwards of $122,461 in treatment, lost wages and more.
** If you want to donate via Venmo to bypass GoFundMe fees, Lani’s venmo is @lanideexo **
http://www.vpc.org/studies/wmmw2016.pdf
http://www.ncdsv.org/CDC_Cost-of-Rape-in-the-United-States_4-2017.pdf
The extreme and prolonged abuse she suffered spanned severely across different facets of domestic violence. It was racialized, as her abuser forced her into frequent intimate contact with white supremacists. It was sexual, as she experienced force and the manipulation of her queer identity to sexually coerce against her protests. It was physical, culminating in a firearm being kept in her bedroom with her abuser. And it was financial, as well: Lani, who worked tirelessly for a decade on an advanced degree and in pursuing her career, was violated and manipulated until she was forced to leave her career for her own supposed good. During this time, her abuser took full control of all of her financial accounts, citing her mental health and frequent emergency room trips (which he caused) as justification for why she shouldn’t be allowed to be responsible for them. With this control he committed fraud, drained her finances and ran her into severe debt with financial and medical institutions. On top of this, she is also suffering from PTSD, suicidality, chronic back pain and nerve damage in her arms—with no means to get the treatment she needs. And this is only the tip of the iceberg.
In the US, 3 women a day are killed by their abusive partners. According to a 2016 report by the Violence Policy Center, Black women are more than 3 times likely to be murdered by their partners than white women. Every day I am thankful that Lani survived, but surviving the immediate violence was only half the battle. The support she receives (or doesn’t receive) after abuse will also have long-lasting consequences, and I ask for your help in making sure that she has the best chances possible in reclaiming her life.
Sometimes people think survivors of domestic and sexual abuse just need some time and emotional support to heal. But what are time and emotional support without material resources? When bills need to be paid, when the impacts of injuries worsen over time, when trauma and terror inhibit your ability to function, when you can’t afford to get the mental or physical help you need, and sometimes can’t even afford to get basic needs met? The invisible costs that survivors absorb (financial, emotional, physical), usually silently and alone, are unimaginable and hard to quantify—though according to the CDC, one sexual assault costs each victim upwards of $122,461 in treatment, lost wages and more.
** If you want to donate via Venmo to bypass GoFundMe fees, Lani’s venmo is @lanideexo **
http://www.vpc.org/studies/wmmw2016.pdf
http://www.ncdsv.org/CDC_Cost-of-Rape-in-the-United-States_4-2017.pdf
Organizer and beneficiary
Hyejin Shim
Organizer
Oakland, CA
Lani Dee
Beneficiary
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